Amie here, and I am attempting to return to writing Starting Line’s newsletters after a month’s hiatus.
That’s because, in December, we lost my wife, Shenae.
It is deeply painful, the hardest thing I’ve gone through. Her family, friends and I are still going through it all. My guess is that some of you, horrifyingly, know what this is like.
I’ve been having a hard time working or staying focused, let alone going back to writing about Iowa news, politics, and the working class. The only way I knew how to come back and do all of that was to write this first.
I’ve talked before about my life with Shenae in this newsletter, so I wanted you to understand where I am mentally these days. I also write because I am not sure we—as Iowans, as Midwesterners, as a society—talk enough about the ways in which grief, particularly when it comes to suicide, affects our lives. (Note that, out of respect for our families and for readers, I did not discuss specific details in the story linked above.)
Maybe you already understand, and you will write to me and tell me what you have learned from your grief. (Indeed, some of you already have, and I thank you for your kind words.) And I will read what you have written and maybe nod along, and maybe cry, and maybe learn something, and maybe write something else.
The grief will continue to bore painful, aerating holes in my soul, I know. I will try to breathe through it, remembering I am one of many who know this pain.
In the meantime, thanks for bearing with me as I find my way again. And thanks to Avery for filling in on newsletters, and the whole Starting Line team for handling business. I’m grateful.
I am lucky to have a good support system of family and friends, as well as a wonderful therapist. If you’re looking for crisis resources, call Your Life Iowa at (855) 581-8111, text (855) 895-8398, or live chat at yourlifeiowa.org. You can also call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org.
